Wearing Hijab Without the Support of Family – A Story of Struggle & CourageThe first occasion when you step out wearing hijab, declaring to the world that you've arrived at this purpose of conviction in your otherworldly excursion, a large group of sentiments welcomes you. In any case, those underlying sentiments of influence and goals that carried you to the choice to wear hijab for Allah are no otherworldly remedy for the battles throughout your life. We despite everything face the whisperings of shaytaan continually enticing us to act naturally aware of what others may think.
Most likely one of the main inquiries in each sister's psyche after settling on this choice frequently is: How will the individuals who realize me respond? Since changing in accordance with this enormous religious choice in your life turns into substantially more troublesome when you are deprived of help from family, companions and friends and family.
Lady in dark hijab
Photograph by Muhammad Ruqiyaddin on Unsplash
Having just worn a headscarf as a wedded lady while seeking after change to Judaism in the couple of years before turning into a Muslim, the change to hijab was simple for me. Maybe what made it significantly simpler was that I had just Muslim companions when I took my shahadah. I was not in my old neighborhood at that point, not even where I am from – the USA. I had no family around. When I changed over, my then-spouse at that point and our two children had moved to a lion's share Muslim neighborhood. I had no explanation, at that point, to stress over the dissatisfaction, peculiar looks and critical or censuring gazes of individuals who definitely knew me.
After coming back to the U.S. one-and-a-half years subsequent to getting Muslim, my stomach beat at the idea of confronting my family while wearing hijab. However, I made certain of my decision and realized that whatever they may state, I would not withdraw. I was sure beyond a shadow of a doubt Islam was reality. Fortunately in the underlying get-together with my family, there was no indication of objection. They were simply happy I was back home with my kids free from any danger, having left my harsh marriage.
The discussions, or rather addresses, started not long after I was subsided into my brother by marriage house. Relatives criticized the religion they knew distinctly by prattle by means of its enemies.They contrasted my hijab with the covers of the Ku Klux Klan. In spite of mishandled clarifications that I was doing it in compliance to my Creator, they couldn't acknowledge it on the grounds that such an edict was not in their sacred writings.
With minimal past experience, these conversations typically finished in raised tones and common stalemates. Two years of concentrating progressively about Islam, I have figured out how to consider my answers and give a valiant effort to talk carefully and with information, as the Quran says, "Welcome to the method for your Lord with astuteness and great guidance, and contend with them in a way that is ideal." [Al Nahl 16:125]
These warmed conversations with my family at the outset left me down and out, shaken and very desolate. Being another proselyte, the sentiment of segregation overflowed over me. Alhamdulillah, a sister from the nation where I took my shahadah put me in contact with a UK-based Muslim foundation, Solace: For return sisters in trouble, that offers help laborers for sisters who are battling in each territory of their profound excursion. A time of week after week calls with my help laborer was amazingly gainful and really advantageous to my otherworldly development.
Quran and tasbih
Defining objectives for myself, setting aside some effort to examine Quran, tuning in to addresses in the territories in which I was battling, participating in self-care – these were only a couple of things that helped me to build my iman every day. Having my tutor to chat with at whatever point an issue came up was a gigantic alleviation, as I had at this point no different Muslims around me. The companions I had left after getting back were not promptly accessible due to the time distinction. Discovering Muslim sisters close to enough to me was a test, as I lived in a modest community. Inexplicably, Allah started to send individuals my way after numerous du'as and my deliberate and ceaseless endeavors to make new companions.
Having positive and compassionate sisters to support me, continually reminding me about Allah for Whose purpose I had picked Islam, kept me solid and decided. The greater part of these sisters I met and associated with through online networking. So often when I was crying alone in disappointment at my family's oblivious partiality that showed in critical conduct, I had the option to pick up solace and feel recharged just by a WhatsApp message.
There will consistently be tests to move all alone. Regardless of how much counsel you are given, at last, you should take ownership of your still, small voice. Maybe my most noteworthy battle came when I was approached to quit wearing hijab by my family, in any event in the house. It went to a point where I needed to choose if I would speak to what Islam really is – a religion of harmony – versus what they accepted – another religion dependent on outward shows and haughty mentalities of being "correct."
Since my family has such a great amount of antagonism about "religion," I settled on my choice all together not to give them a terrible impression about Islam. Keeping in mind my brother by marriage, who had opened his home to me for longer than arranged, I consented to wear a scarf like a Jewish lady around my family. Out in the open, I despite everything wore hijab in an increasingly Muslim-style, which remains my circumstance today.
A couple of things helped me when the restriction and non-backing of my wearing hijab was best case scenario. I need to impart these things to you in the event that you are likewise confronting a comparative, excruciating absence of help:
1. Finding a gathering to join where sisters who are or have experienced the equivalent/comparable encounters as you is priceless. Having somebody to chat with who comprehends you is both soothing and empowering.
2. Continually feed your iman by examining Islam, picking up information and tuning in to khutbahs or addresses that will help fortify your choices.
3. When confronting cynicism, help yourself to remember your motivations to wear hijab for Allah and make du'a that He will fortify your purpose to not be threatened.
4. Continuously remain joined to Allah (S) through salah and dhikr (recognition of Allah S).
Hannah DubiThe choice to wear hijab regularly is one borne of insightful consideration, supplication and study. For some it comes simple. For other Muslim ladies it is a significant advance that takes the mental fortitude of conviction. Doing this without help or more regrettable, analysis and cynicism from loved ones mixes what is as of now a fantastic choice. I comprehended that individuals' critical perspectives, judgments and allegations were outward projections of dread and preference because of obliviousness and their own weaknesses.
At the point when we are completely learned about what we accept, agreeable totally to Allah's will and sufficiently humble to get analysis, we have no compelling reason to fear individuals' words and gazes. We should likewise utilize shrewdness in each situation, trust in Allah and encircle ourselves with similarly invested individuals for the wellbeing of He. May Allah help us to obey Him effortlessly, harmony, and satisfaction. Ameen.
Hannah Dubi was conceived in and lives with her folks in Florida. As a joyfully separated, single parent of three youngsters, she deals with her time among composing and making sense of how to function on the web while evolving diapers, kissing mistakes and tidying up toys. Since changing over to Islam in January, 2016, she wants to profit and help join the Ummah any way she can.